Do “The Hustle”… (Readers Digest Version
24/11/2024 § Leave a comment
I guess I keep trying to craft my writing to impress the editors of The New Yorker with my overinflated and slightly honest, though understandably involved, and supposedly not-ready-for-prime-time non-fiction, writings. Some—friends mostly—have noted they have the attention span of a butterfly, clocking in at under a minute per read session. Can I send them a skinnier, condensed version? How they know what a butterfly understands and how short their attention span can be is beyond me, or perhaps I have not smoked enough of the stuff formerly known as Mary Jane, the evil weed?
For those, I churned the full-on, full-fat text of the Do “The Hustle”… post into ChatGPT and asked OpenAi to make the blog post buttery smooth for those who don’t have the time to spend trying to decipher my humor and understand the sales messaging I subtly sprinkled in so as not to appear needy and wanting.
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We’ve all seen those TikTokers boasting side hustles that supposedly earn hundreds of dollars per hour. Most of the time, their hustle is you watching their videos. But it got me thinking—I already have something to sell: books!
Look out! Marketing schmutz below!
My book Mud Folio is a collection of unsung lyrics—poetry with a musical twist. It’s earned praise from notable figures like jazz singer Ann Hampton Callaway, pianist Ramsey Lewis, and Gang of Four drummer Hugo Burnham. The latest edition features 30 new lyricals, perfect for composers seeking inspiration or a new lyricist to collaborate with.
The blurbettes are on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, and I think you can even buy the softcover (on the left above) and the hardcover (on the right) on Walmart.com, though not in the stores.
Buy yours today! (Jump through the links below to also read the fantabulous and copious marketing verbiage before ChatGPT homogenized it.)
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Walmart | Boston Globe Feature for the first edition in 2013
And in the esoterica department?
Inspired by our high school campaign to elect a mannequin as class president, Don’t Be A Dummy is primarily blank pages with room for your own musings. This tongue-in-cheek coffee table book has “endorsements” from personalities like Eddie Murphy and Eddie Izzard.
Get your copy today!
(Again, those obviously fictional blurbettes can be found through the first two links below. Walmart has very little marketing schmutz online. This is perhaps just one reason books don’t sell well there unless they are best-sellers, cozy murder mysteries, by a Kardashian, or religiously themed.)
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Walmart |
And slightly a bit more practical?
A humorous nod to Mao’s Little Red Book, this lined notebook is perfect for notes, doodles, or starting your own revolution. A favorite among my old classmates! (How ChatGPT hallucinated that I have no idea. As the text below was shoved into the machine and I clearly state how many I have sold to date.)
Here’s the postcard I created to hand out at our recent High School reunion, hoping to boost sales. I believe I have sold two so far. So it’s up to you to raise that total to the height of the Great Wall.
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Google Books |
More to come?
Got a manuscript or some wild ideas? Let’s make it a book. Contact me and watch this space for future releases.
And for the uninitiated, the title? The Hustle is a nod to the iconic disco hit. Here’s a clue from YouTube.
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(And ChatGPT praised itself on its work, with the addition of an exclamation point to drive home its fine ability to churn and skim the full-fat text: “How’s that? Short, focused, and still keeps your humor intact!”)
3 Mantras For Bev & Syd
20/10/2015 § 3 Comments
This past Sunday we had a celebration of life for our folks, Bev & Syd. When our Dad passed, Mom wanted to celebrate his extraordinary life and not mourn his death. So that is what we did a few years back. And she produced an affair with readings, and music, and food. After this excruitiating winter, and then a crazed summer, my brother, Phil, and I finally got around to booking Waveny Estate, the property that one of the muckety-mucks who started Texaco sold to New Canaan for a pittance in 1997. Yes, New Canaan is that kind of town, rich, and bucolic, and sedate. And then Syd Greenberg came to town. But, that’s later. For our celebration had BBQ catered in, Phil printed out hundreds of pictures from Bev and Syd’s excellent adventure; living through Brooklyn and New Canaan and that war to end all wars, WWII and through the lives of so many friends and he put together a video from home movies, slides, and this cool film he created for Syd’s 90th birthday. Since Phil lives a bit closer to New Canaan, he did most of the heavy lifting. All I had to do was write, and give, a speech. The writing part usually comes naturally, the speechifying not so. And this one? Most everyone’s folks are amazing in some way, but, and this is not bragging, my folks were phenomenal—though it did take me a long time to realize that. Just read this little bit about my Mom and this one about my Dad and you’ll get a better picture of what I was up against to get them down into a speech. As well, since this would be after the drinks and the food, I also had to be succinct and pithy. Terse is not in my toolkit, that’s for sure. And then still have some of their soul and joy seep in between the lines? A big task. Here is my take on Bev & Syd:
Why I WANTED To Own And Operate A Small Seaside Cinema
03/08/2015 § 1 Comment
A few months ago, Cape Ann Cinema & Stage, was up for grabs. All you had to do was cram down into 250 words all your wishes and desires and dreams and hopes of owning your very own cinema and performance space. Anyone who knows me understands how hard that would have been and it was. I think the first draft was over 500 words and that was cutting out a ton, or maybe two tons, of verbiage. One of the stipulations was to “be creative.” Yah, cut that meat to the bone. Bone isn’t going to be real creative unless you find a way to scrimshaw on it. Precise incisions ensued and I excised more, as much as I could while still making some sense. With more rewriting and then some.
Talking To Strangers
23/02/2015 § Leave a comment
As a kid, I had always wanted to sell enough stuff to absolute strangers in order to get those amazing prizes as advertised lavishly in comic books. You know, sell an inordinate amount of Peony seeds, or magazine subscriptions, or wrapping paper, and obtain a shiny new Schwinn Stingray Bike with a banana seat. Unfortunately for both the seed company and my parents, I couldn’t walk up to strangers and sell them junk they didn’t need, even when I was desperate to have that very thing that would make me cooler than my younger brother. I had the dream but not the wherewithal, so I needed my folks to spend real money in order to get the bike.
The Marketing Dance: Doing The Jerk part Two
15/08/2014 § 1 Comment
In The Marketing Dance: Doing The Jerk, our last bloggette, I dissected the wrong way to get anyone to be interested about you and your stuff on social networks; where you act like those cheap commercials on Late Night TeeVee with the announcer yelling at you: “Wait, WAIT, there’s more…”
The Marketing Dance: Doing The Jerk
22/07/2014 § 2 Comments
Selling me crap in an email is justified, because I can label you junk and, hopefully depending on the reliability of my MacMail, never see you again. On TeeVee that’s a little different as I revel in a good advertisement, having been in that world for a bit back in the ’80s where I was even tapped to look at, and judge, animated commercials for the Clios. But sell me stuff on Facebook and LinkedIn, man, that’s like tossing a leaflet at my front door and having it end up on my lawn. I then have to go outside, take it off the lawn and walk to the back to throw it out. While I do need the exercise, is that anyway to get me to buy your stuff? By pissing me off? I don’t think you’ll find that method in any Dale Carnegie course.
So, why does anyone think they should advertise to me in social media? I’m not talking the soft-sell, like what I do (marketing, information, as opposed to lobbing a sales pitch over the bunker. “In-bound” marketing as coined by HubSpot, that “content marketing” thing.) Yes, there’s a potential world of goobers online who may possibly want to buy your–insert your “Hilary in 2016” and/or “Not Hilary in 2016” tstochke or some other equally appealing item–here. Or even how could you think someone would hire you with your plea to be considered hitting them at point-blank range? Especially if you inbox said someone, like me, who you have started to pester about a job without even asking if TKA has any jobs open! And, if we do, check the website.
Resume? Resume? I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Resume!
25/10/2012 § Leave a comment
Well, of course you do, but aim to have a boatload of material so you don’t have just your resume to show prospective employers. And then, during your first job, find time to do your own thing, by any means necessary, so that you don’t really need that resume after that. I landed the second job of my career with the film production house, Second Story Television without any resume at all. That was because I started that company with a few friends after gleaning enough experience and connections from working at a small film production company/ad agency based on the famed Madison Avenue in NYC. And jobs after SST were mostly pulled in from my network of friends. That’s the key and the underlying thought behind this bloggette: building your career, yourself, again, by any means necessary.
Rubber Rodeo: How The West Was Won / Eat Records / Second Story Television
FreeDub Missive
16/08/2012 § Leave a comment
A missive for the IR release 26.1 FreeDub. You can download it HERE, but do read on with what some might call liner notes, others might call a diatribe, which we call our infomercial for dub living. Basically pulsed out to the press and available to the public in each and every download of IR26.2, giving up the history of the IR label and the why and wherefore of the musical collective known as Indigenous Resistance. As culled from the writings of Tapedave and IR’s creative liason and traveling dignitary, The Ghost.
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FreeDub for the people. What does that mean exactly, specifically? It’s not exactly free as we are not exactly free as a people, anywhere. Where there is a power structure it’s never a zero sum game. There’s winners and losers, the losers just need to lose a little less and win more. That is where the words come from, that struggle for freedom, that struggle for respect, the struggle continues every day.
So it’s a double-edged sword this FreeDub, it is free — “getcha download here, extra dub on the side” — but it also speaks to being free, the urge, the want, the need. Revolution you can dance to has been part of the IR mission since the beginning of crafting and splicing spoken word dissent into deep bass-laden tracks of dance, dub, techo. Tracks that were crucial, but lacking interest from the wider music industry, and so limited distribution made even more limited when one record company courageous enough to take it on, went out of business, kaput, taking masters, artwork, and royalties down the rat-infested drain. With help from Dorado, another courageous outlier of the music industry (before they dissolved), IR regrouped, reinvested with time, spit energy and re-engineered itself. The music can now be found on iTunes (and elsewhere) through Believe Digital, with some releases in the earthbound form of CDs through CDBaby. But dems the dub that helps pay the way for getting the real deal back to the people; the indigenous, those who need to hear the words and dance to the music, to break down the barriers put up against the hand-packed brutality of their day-to-day, to push off the trod that downward, and incessantly, presses against their very soul. As well as you, reading this, slogging it out against selfishness and the grubbing for winning over losing, wanting for a bit of individuality and mindfulness, in this time and space we share. « Read the rest of this entry »
Marketing OneOH!One: Break On Through To The Tangential Side
17/02/2012 § 4 Comments
When I interview interns for the Ted Kurland Associates program, which I oversee here at TKA, more than a few want to know if they are going to work directly with the agents, or with management, as if the marketing side of it were tangential to their education, not only as an intern at TKA, but as a whole to their career. Of course, working with the artists is more interesting than working with the pictures of the artists; getting into the thick of the business of music is really the key to their understanding of the booking process. I know that, which is why I try and give them face time with the agents.
Artists just starting out, you may have a real career where you can afford to shave off a nice percentage for a manager; a manager who understands all this tangential business kind of stuff and can honestly oversee a marketing crew who can use all the bleeding-edge tools-of-the-minute in order to shoot your career into the stratosphere, and, even more important, keep it there. Before you get there, here is one basic term you need to understand. It’s not too hard to get, though I am perplexed when starving artists don’t even have this tool tucked under their belts. Perhaps that’s why starving artists are starving?
The marketing term for today is AUDIENCE.
As in those people who want to hear your music. To get gigs, you must have a loyal fan base. Clubs want to fill their rooms with paying customers so those customers can buy drinks, eat food, pay for all the stuff that gets labeled as “overhead.” Don’t even expect to be considered by a promoter at a large club unless you have an audience that can minimally fill his room.
Mud Folio, Almost Here
19/10/2011 § 2 Comments
It’s been a hard slog to get this sucker, THE MUD FOLIO, published in book form. A real book, with spines, a cover, cut to size, even an ISBN number and a UPC code, not the PDF download that’s up there now.
Why? Well, while I figured out a nice looking layout for an 8.5 x 11 page print-out LULU prints their trade paperbacks at 6 by 9 inch, a bit of a different ratio. If I wasn’t so anal, I’d just change the page dimension in InDesign and be done with it. But, I had to tinker, then the tinkering didn’t look right. Then life got in the way, and now, just about THREE FREAKING YEARS later, I am ALMOST done. Not yet, but almost.
We’ve had a few hiccups along the way as well. I added them on a timely basis — updates as they happened rushed to print, “copy, boy!” — to The Mud Folio page on Facebook, which I know you’ll “like” ASAP so you can get all the up-to-the-minute info on publication dates, and news and reviews, and future attempts at humor. (I sure hope we get us some reviews. I sure hope you can get the humor.)
Now, all in one place, here’s what’s happened to us to throw us off course, delay publication, fray nerves, and otherwise make us ready for those many Fridays when just one beer would not do. Though not first in the long list of detours, that Okie Poetry Slam was perhaps the hairiest of all.
BOOK BURNING
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tapedave 